Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Udated update

Wow, when the Lord moves you had better be ready. It seems like for months I've just been waiting and praying and waiting and pressing in and waiting some more. 

He told me last week to schedule my appointment and as I've already shared I wasn't sure how I was going to do that... I didn't know who to call or even what to do. The Lord directed me and with one phone call I got an appointment and I just received the fantastic news that she wants blood work and and MRI before my appointment.

I was sure I would have to wait weeks and weeks for an MRI, but it turns out that it's all set! By this time tomorrow I will know exactly what I don't know right now, which is what is going on in my body. God is so good. From there we will be able to make a decision about what is next. I am so relieved and amazed at how perfectly God answered this prayer. Far beyond my expectations. Although I am not looking forward to an MRI, I am looking forward to seeing the Lord do amazing things.

God is good. I will let everyone know what is discovered.
In the meantime please pray!!!!

Thanks



Monday, September 29, 2008

Update

I have a Dr. appt. scheduled for this Wed. Oct. 1st. I will be seeing the Endocrinologist and then hopefully get an MRI scheduled right away. Thank you all for your prayers. I couldn't believe how quickly I was able to get in and even my phone calls were promptly returned. A direct answer to prayer. 

Please pray for boldness as I go to the Dr. That I would share our journey with confidence. I know there is a great chance of getting intimidated by the Dr. for taking the route we are taking. Please pray that I won't be intimidated, but bold and will know what to share, and not to share.

I will let you know when I get the MRI scheduled. 

Thank you all.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

My Ethan part 2

Even when they seem to have gone to the dark side, somehow we still can't live without them.

He really is quite talented... it's astounding at times.

At times he looses his head over the silliest things, but so far it hasn't been hard to reattach.

Sometimes his nose gets bent outta shape, but we try not to let that happen too often. I warn him that it might stay that way if he keeps it up.

He's all muscle and it's almost freaky how he's outgrown his head.....


Seems like just yesterday he was 6 going on 7 ... now he's all hormones and facial hair. It's like he's turning 17 or something.
He asked me to cut his hair into a mohawk too..... I'm wondering if we need to lay off the A-team for a bit. Self expression so far is rather tame. 


My Ethan

Ethan. My warrior. My dreamer. My musician. My lover-boy. My passionate son. Today he is turning 7 years old. Every year that goes by I say... "I can't believe you are 4...5... 6 and now 7!

Ethan has been wanting a few things for his birthday. He wanted a drum set, a necklace with a cross on it and some fake moustaches. He is my performer. He loves to be in front of people. So Daniel and I have been noticing an amazing sense of rhythm in this boy. Even before he was a year old he was drumming and keeping a beat that seemed impossible for one so small. We'd set up boxes or pots or whatever and he'd go for it. This year we decided it was time for a real drum set. We took him to pick it out on Thursday and he is just in heaven. It is very fun to hear him practicing down in the garage and see him walk up the stairs with a glazed look of sheer joy when he is done.

Stayed tuned for more pictures.

Thank you Lord for the gift of my children!



One year

Wow, I have been looking forward to this day and dreading it at the same time. 

Today is the one year mark of my diagnosis. It is also my "baby's" 7th birthday. It's bittersweet. I don't want his birthday tainted with the bitterness of the diagnosis, but it's so sweet because it was one of the best days of my life when he came into this world.

The Lord has been ministering to me this week.... just like He always does. This morning I woke up with Romans 4 going thru my head. 

"He is the God that calls things that are not as though they were." 

I have absolutely NO regrets. I have faced this past year with a stealthy confidence in His amazing ability to heal. I love that this idea was His before it was mine. I have fought the good fight every single day. I have done what He said, usually when He said it. I have no regrets.

So, I am still confident. He has been telling me all year that I am beautiful and that I am pregnant.... that has just been a totally perplexing thing to me. But it's been so important for Him to continue speaking life over me by telling me that I am pregnant. He is calling things that are not as though they were. 

When I woke up with that scripture I began meditating on it. It doesn't say that He changed everything that was not into something that was.... it doesn't say that he works to make things that are not as though they were... it just simply says that he calls things that are not as though they were. This may seem weak and a bit trivial for some, but remember He made the entire universe simply with His words. He spoke and it came to be. So, His very words are the most powerful force in the universe. That's good news!

Taking that another step. We are created in His image so our words are also very powerful. They can be life or death. I believe that is why He talks so much about "confessing with our mouths", and "being careful with our words"..... the power of life and death is in the tongue. 

So I have been following a scheduled reading thru the Bible in a year and yesterday the two Psalms were 113 and 127. Psalm 113 says 
"He settles the barren woman in her home, as a happy mother of children."

Psalm 127 says 
"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in ones youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."

So, the Lord has reaffirmed to me that I must agree with Him and speak over myself what He says is already true outside of time. He hasn't seemed to think it was important to declare that I don't have a tumor anymore. In fact He hasn't said that once. He is focusing on the desire of my heart that has been stolen in this battle... my ability to conceive and carry a child. It's almost as if He is refusing to allow me to focus on this tumor, He is simply encouraging me to set my eyes on Him as He defeats this for me and then He turns and calls me pregnant. Amazing.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Pirates

Don't forget..... Tomorrow September 19th is official 

International Talk like a Pirate Day

Everyone needs to know ;o)


Fall

All of the sudden I feel like I don't have anymore time. Our school schedule is very very busy and I'm finding I barely have time for normal things let alone something like blogging. 

I'm writing today for more prayer. I am planning to schedule another MRI soon. Next week it will have been 1 year since the original diagnosis and here I am, one year later. Happy, healthy, still standing in the faith the Lord has given me. The "normal" thing to do is get another MRI to see where we are physically.

I'm excited, nervous, anxious and ready..... ready to get on with life! 

So please pray that 
#1. I'd get an appointment quickly (I hate waiting)
#2. That I would have favor with the appropriate Dr.'s
#3. That the results would be positively tumor free.

Thank you. We will keep you all posted.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Hate

I hate this tumor. I hate it with everything in me. I don't dislike it, I don't think it's horrible, I don't just want it gone...... I despise it with a passion.

The Lord was showing me that if I don't actively hate this thing it will kill me. Even if it doesn't kill me physically it will kill me emotionally and spiritually. One of our favorite speakers put it best when he said "what you tolerate will dominate"..... I don't even want to tolerate this tumor one  more day. I have to actively hate it every minute of every hour of every day.

Psalm 40:1,2 was a scripture the Lord gave me a while ago, way before this journey. 

"I waited patiently for the Lord; 
he turned to me and heard my cry. 
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 
out of the mud and mire; 
he set my feet on a rock and 
gave me a firm place to stand." 

The Lord said through a friend the other day "don't put up pictures in your pit, don't rearrange the furniture"... in other words don't get comfortable! Don't plan to stay in your pit. My pit is illness. I used to think it was also self pity, self justification and false humility, but the Lord showed me that those are my idols. I can't be rescued from the pit until I let go of my idols. When I refuse to be associated with this tumor anymore, when I refuse to receive anything from it, then I will have let go of my idols and I will be rescued.

Your pit may be something else. You may not think you are in a pit, but if there is any area of recurring defeat then you are in a pit. The good news is that you get to get out! The Lord has given you permission to be rescued.

One of our favorite pastors a man by the name of Graham Cooke introduced us to the idea of something he calls "crafted prayers". The idea is that the Word of God says that when we ask anything according to the will of God, He will do it for us when we ask with faith. That is a pretty amazing statement. So the principle is that you spend time finding out what His heart is for your particular situation and once you get it then you craft a prayer around that and then pray it! Pray it not just once, but over and over and over again until it comes about. Once you know what His heart is for you and you begin praying it, it is a recipe for total and complete success.

So.... I am going to end this post with sharing my crafted prayer with all of you. My prayer is a combination of some things the Lord has spoken to me in my quiet times, prophesies that have been spoken over me by other people and many of them confirmed over and over again by many individuals. Some of them have been so beyond me that I find it impossible to wrap my brain around, but nonetheless I believe them because He has said them. If you feel lead I would love you to pray it over me whenever the Lord leads you... I think that would bless His heart and it would certainly bless me! Thank you.

Heather's crafted prayer

Thank you Lord that you have named yourself "my healer"
and that you are rescuing me from the slimy pit
of illness.
I declare that I will not cling to the idols of self pity,
self justification or false humility.
I receive the key of honor that you have given me and 
I will draw near in intimacy with you in the 
garden of my heart.
I rejoice that I am pregnant with life 
and ready to give birth. 
I thank you that everyone who witnesses my miracle 
and hears my story will see and fear you 
and put their trust in you. 
May You be glorified in me.
Amen.