Food

Food is a REALLY big deal around our house. I realized this quickly after I began dating Daniel. We would go out to eat or discuss eating and I would announce that I didn't care for certain foods, bananas, sushi, tomatoes, brussel sprouts, etc. I began noticing a peculiar look on his face like (oh, no, I don't think I'm going to be able to marry this girl, she doesn't like tomatoes!!!?)... then I would smile my winning smile and he would quickly realize that none of that mattered.

Daniel's family loves food! Whenever we travel a familiar road and he sees a restaurant that he visited before we were married with his family he would say, "oh yeah, there is that restaurant, I remember eating there with my grandparents when I was 5, I ate a roast beef sandwich with mashed potatoes and a root beer"... or something like that (ok that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but trust me, not much!) I would sit in utter shock, I can't remember what I ate yesterday let alone when I was 5.

Our boys have inherited their daddy's love of food. When I say love, I mean LOVE!! From the moment they wake up to the minute we say it's bedtime they are asking for food, wanting food, "needing" food. When we are eating a meal they want to know what is for dessert. When we are eating a snack they ask what is for lunch. When we are eating dessert they ask what else they can eat after their dessert is gone! It's enough to drive a mommy nuts! I've actually had to make a rule. When we are eating dinner (a meal I work hard at preparing) they aren't allowed to ask what is for dessert until the meal is gone!!!! Never thought I'd have to make a rule like that.

Even as I write this I've been interrupted twice with requests for a snack.... they ate lunch 10 minutes ago literally!!!

As we've ventured out on this journey of healing I've realized there is another kind of food that is just as important as physical food. It's my spirit food. What am I feeding my Spirit?

When I was first diagnosed with "agromagaly" the surgeon recommened that I go to the computer and google that condition and read everything I could about that. I was tempted to do that. Then I decided not to for several reasons.

First of all when you are sick (physically) you have to be very careful what you eat. Sometimes you don't feel like eating much at all. Some things make you feel worse and some things are beneficial. If you have the stomach flu you aren't going to feel like eating much. If you have a cold then chicken noodle soup is best. The same is true when you are sick with something like this, only I don't need to worry what I eat physically. I do however need to watch what I feed my spirit.

If I gorge myself on more medical information it really isn't going to do me much good. All that will do is give me more fuel for the fire of fear. Just like junk food gives you a burst of energy but leaves you worn out quickly. I have learned that fear comes far too naturally for me without any outside help and fear is a death sentence when you have something like a brain tumor.

I realized very early on that I need to be careful what I "study" what I read and even who I talk to about this. Because my healing isn't going to come from Doctors, it's illogical for me to study medical conditions. My healing is going to come from the Lord so the only medical study for me is the Word of God. What does it have to say about illness and disease. Jesus was all about healing. Everyone who came to him was healed. That's a pretty amazing track record, and according to Hebrews "he is the same yesterday today and forever". Pretty good news for me!

One thing the Lord gave me a while ago was this passage from Romans 5

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

The Lord was showing me that so many people, especially people facing tough issues, look at this scripture and stop short of the best part. One gentleman we spoke with said something like "I know God has given me this battle so that I will become a better person." or "I just pray that I have an easy time it" (reference to battling a horrible disease)

I think that kind of thinking is a terrible misrepresentation of who God really is!!! The scripture says our sufferings produces perseverance..... an essential characteristic in someone who is going to stand thru anything here on earth. The perseverance produces character.... a very good quality as well. We have to allow ourselves to mature thru trial otherwise we might not have anything to give away once we reach the other side.

Then I realized so many people stop at character. They just decide that the illness they have is from God and they are going to live with it, struggle thru it and hopefully be a light of some kind thru the midst of it. All of those are noble, even good things, BUT that isn't the end of it!!!

The most important part in my mind is the last! Character should produce HOPE!!!! I think very very few people go all the way to hope. They stop short of it because hope is too painful. Hope is painful because we see too few people who actually get healed or it doesn't happen as fast as we want it to, or it doesn't happen the way we want it to. We've made hope into this ethereal thing that is weak and a looks more like a wish than the powerful force that it is.

The Bible says in Hebrews 11 that "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". It partners Faith with Hope. It isn't a wish or a nice thought, it's a certainty, a being sure! The Bible also describes hope as "an anchor for our souls"!

That is where I want to end up when this is all over. I want to have this suffering produce something of significance in me. I want to have it produce in me perseverance, I want to face any trial and know that I have developed the spiritual muscle to stand in that trial for as long as I need to. So much of battling things spiritually is just a matter of standing long enough, honestly I think this is something that our culture, especially younger generations including mine, is not very good at.

Then I want it to develop character. Character is the "what have I learned" part of suffering. Going thru a trial of suffering without character is like walking deep into a forest without leaving some kind of trail of how you got there. If you don't leave a trail you don't know how to get back or how to take others there. Character is the medal of honor part of suffering.

But the greatest part is that it all leads you to hope. The hope is the true riches. It is the stability you need to face every other thing in your life. Before I was diagnosed with this tumor we were going thru another difficult decision and the Lord took me to Psalm 40.
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

I feel like the hope he has given us is that firm thing we are standing on. We are on his hope. It makes it possible for us to overcome everything that comes our way from now on, both for ourselves and for other people. THAT makes this journey worth taking.