So we left the Dr.'s office shaken but not destroyed. We had a 2 hour drive home and both of us were pretty stunned. As we drove and talked we felt this faith rise up inside us that the Lord had everything under control. That He was right in the car with us and that we could lean on Him. We began worshipping and praising Him and all this peace and even joy came in and by the time we got home we felt confident of His goodness.
A little background is in order here. Daniel and I married 8 1/2 years ago, here in Santa Ynez California. We moved here to start a youth church with His parents church. Everything has not gone according to the plans that we had made, but that doesn't surprise or depress us. We learned a long time ago that if we stay plugged into God, if we keep our relationship with Him our priority then no matter which way the road turns it won't leave us hopeless, but confident that He is guiding us. Still I wasn't sure where I fit here. I knew I was a mom and a wife, but beyond that I just wasn't sure.
About 4 years ago I got a job working for my neighbor. I was a caretaker for her just a few days a month. She has MS and needed assistance with some small things during the days her husband worked as a firefighter. My job was a delight. My employer had become my friend. She was a delight. Never in the 3+ years that I worked for her did I ever see her depressed or angry or mean.... she is the picture of grace. I grew to despise this horrible disease that had her captive.
One day as I was cleaning my house the Lord asked me what Iwas going to do about MS. At first I felt a powerlessness and wasn't exactly sure what I could do. Then I realized He wasn't asking me this to taunt me or make me feel impotent... He was asking me because He wanted me to do something about it!!! So I began fasting and praying and reading about every healing the Lord ever did in the Bible. I was so inspired. I was on fire. I felt like I had found the reason why I was here. I asked my neighbor if I could begin praying for her. I shared with her what the Lord had said to me and how I believed in His word and the power of God for us here today. She got so encouraged. It was fun. So we began praying everyday that I worked, sometimes if Daniel had the day off he would come over with me and he would play his guitar and worship over her while I prayed for her and we all just were overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord.
So as I went into this battle for my health, I had about 3 years of praying and believing for my neighbors healing in my arsenal and I was just as confident that the Lord wanted to heal me. I have become so tired of reading the Word of God like it's a nice history book instead of the weapon that it is. 1 Corinthians 4:20 says "The kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power".... I grew up in the church believing that healing was for today. I'd hear of headaches being healed, praise the Lord, I'd hear of broken limbs being healed, awesome, every once in a while I'd hear that cancer was healed, amazing..... but I'd never seen it personally, and that meant that there was something I wasn't practicing that I believed.... I didn't like that.
When you pray for others you are mediating between them and God. It's so cool and God uses that, but when I was diagnosed with this tumor, all of the sudden it all became very very personal.
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