Checking in

I'm so sorry for not updating this blog more in the recent days. We've been in the midst of some pretty crazy times here in the Burgess household. We will get to talk about it more freely in the days to come, for now there isn't much I can share here, but you can know that it's good, it's all good!!!

This week is rather crazy as I go for my doc. appointment on Thursday and then Daniel heads to San Diego on Friday for the Call that will take place all day Saturday. 

I will update everyone at the end of our week as to what the doc says and when the appointment will be for surgery. So far it seems that the procedure is rather "simple" and quite a quick recovery.... I'm praying for that and more.

Little tiny mini update

The Doc. appt. to schedule surgery has been changed to Thurs. the 30th.

Thanks for praying.

Time is ticking

I feel like the weeks fly by, but the date to see the surgeon still seems eons away. Frustrating. I do want to still keep my focus on the Lord instead of the surgeon, and thankfully the Lord knows that.... He encouraged me yesterday with another scripture.

I think my main frustration in this time is the "healing thru the surgeon phrase". I know that is true, but really, it is better from the Lord. So I feel overwhelmed with catching everyone up on our lives and explaining why we waited a year and what we were doing and, and, and,.....

I am doing a bible study by Beth Moore right now called Breaking Free. Excellent! I highly recommend it, but anyway she wanted us to look up Isaiah 43:10 yesterday and meditate on it. The Lord really ministered to me through it. 

It says: "I have called you to be my witness, I have chosen you.... so that you will know that I am he". That is a paraphrase, but the Lord ministered to me that this season was about me. That I would know that He is who He says that He is!!! But that as I do that, as I believe, others will see and I will be His witness to them.

Anyway, it's not much, but it certainly blessed me. Thank you all for praying. I will see the surgeon a week from Wed. and would covet your prayers.

Thank you.

My car

Had to show you all a picture of my new car. The boys keep going, "I can't believe we have a convertible!" I think they hear me say that a lot and are mimicking me :o)

God has released a joy over me that is far beyond receiving a new car. It's like he broke off  depression and hopelessness with this gift. I feel this anticipation, joyful anticipation at this next season and what the Lord has planned. Even surgery doesn't phase me at this point because I know I've sown so much prayer into this that if it comes to surgery that is part of the testimony! Bring it on!

We've also been told that the original plan of going with the new surgeon is not an option now, so I just think.... well, it must be part of His plan for this other surgeon to see our story and have it before him, Bring it on!

Our neighbor Rick is back home. His surgery was very successful. He literally was a hair width away from death, that was all the space left in his heart artery. They cleaned it out and put in a stint and he is great. Everyday is a gift for them now! God is so good.

Thank you all for continued prayers. We are anticipating this new season with great joy!!!!!

God is sooo good.

Extravagance

There is something the Lord is doing with us. Daniel put it best last night. He said "I think God wants us to know His extravagant nature before we get to know His practical nature". 

Over the last 6 months especially, but even before then we have noticed this extravagance of God in our lives. It is marked by gifts being lavished on us that we never even asked for. 

Really this began when we moved here. It's like the Lord said "this time will be hard, but I will mark it with sweetness you did not expect." He has given us things we didn't even have the thought or courage to pray for.

It began with being given a car when we were first married. We needed one, but we thought we'd have to take out a loan etc. A very generous family in the church gave us their old volvo and it was a great car for about 4 years. 

Then we were given a beautiful bedroom set by a man in our church who makes furniture as a hobby. He said "give me a picture of what you want and I will make it." So I gave him a picture out of my favorite store Restoration Hardware and he made us a breath taking bed and dresser..... free. 

Then there were many things thru the years with having our boys, years and years of beautiful hand me downs that were perfect fit, perfect timing. My parents gave us our crib that was beautiful and then they gave me dishes that match and I love. The woman in our church that owns the house we live in lets us rent it from her for less than half of what people pay for rent around here.

About 6 months ago my in laws gave us their Mac laptop. Something that has blessed me more than I can say. It has kept me connected when I felt disconnected to the world.... A huge blessing.

Then a few months ago they started coming faster. I needed help with homeschooling, another voice for my kids to hear than just me. We got it in Ethan's teacher helping with extra tutoring for free. Something I didn't even pray about, but desperately needed. 

Then we had a man in our church offer to give Ethan drum lessons for free. With those you are never sure what you will get, but Tony is an amazing man who is infinitely patient and seems to know what Ethan really needs to stay interested and engaged. Again, something I never prayed for, but we needed. 

Then a few months ago Ethan started asking about swim lessons. I had put him off because the YMCA's lessons are so expensive. They are private, but they are very spendy. I was looking into other options when school started. The boys teacher mentioned they were offering to pay for swim lessons for the students. I got the boys in and it turns out they are private lessons (the boys and one of their friends) for 45 min. each, 2 times a week for 2 months!!!! Once again, something I didn't pray for, the Lord just knew.

Yesterday, however, was the cream on top!!!!!! Last night we had had a tough day (see the last post) and we decided we just needed to worship and unload. So we were down in the garage with Ethan on the drums and Daniel on the guitar and me on the mic. and shaker :o) and Micah on the VeggieTales (he never stops) and we were worshipping when Neal, my father in law comes in and asks if we had expected a couple from our church to come over. We said "no" and he said, "well they are here to see you". So I let Daniel go out to talk to them. They called me out and when I went out they presented me with flowers and a key to my very own convertible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had mentioned to them a few weeks before that I enjoyed seeing them in their convertible because I have always loved convertibles and they seemed so carefree and young when they drove theirs. They took it to heart.  It is a beautiful chrysler convertible and it's mine! I was speechless and overwhelmed. They just said they wanted to do it because they knew I liked convertibles and wanted to bless me. 

I have always loved convertibles and Daniel and I joke about getting one when we retire and cruise around with our silver hair...... Never in a million years did I expect this. The boys were like little ping pong balls. They were excited because there were two pillows in the back.

Daniel and I have needed a second car, but this is not what we were expecting to get. I told Daniel, it's so funny because we need so many other things that are so much more practical, but God doesn't seem to be worried about those things. He knew that giving me something I didn't even have on my radar would speak more to me than a practical check in the mail kind of blessing.

Ethan said it best this morning. He looked up at me and he had this delighted look on his face and he said "Mommy! If God can give you a convertible you didn't even ask for then He can definitely answer our tumor prayer and our baby prayer!"

Exactly the point.

Laid down

It seems like when it rains it pours. I know that is such an overused phrase, but there really is no better one for times of being overwhelmed. 

As many of you know my neighbors, Rick and Laura, are friends and they are also former employers. I used to care for Laura who has MS when her husband, a firefighter, worked. I quit my job Feb. 2007 but have been helping when they need a substitute for their other caretaker. Rick has been having heart issues and today is having surgery. It's a minor procedure but still heart surgery. In the meantime I am helping to care for Laura. 

In the midst of all that, I feel like I am on the phone so much trying to schedule this appointment and that test for myself. Not to mention getting two boys to this meeting and that swim lesson and this tutor session etc. etc. etc...... I'm exhausted.

In the midst of exhaustion though I feel like the Lord really spoke to us and gave us peace finally last night. It took a week of "why" and "how" and "where are you" to finally come to peace. My mom sent us encouragement thru the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Abraham said "I know that even if I put the promise (Isaac) on the altar and sacrifice him you can bring resurrection life". The Lord spoke the  same thing to us. We know what we heard at the beginning of this journey, the promise that He would be my healer, I know that can be taken so many ways, but I truly believe God isn't this ethereal being that primarily speaks in riddles. I believe he meant that he was going to physically heal my body. So since that hasn't manifested yet, we are asking the why question. He answers by saying "it's time for surgery". Personally I don't feel like surgery is healing. I believe it is god given wisdom to certain individuals and I'm grateful for the medical field.... however, it's not healing it's surgery. I'm believing for healing.

Before last night I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to pray in faith for another person to be healed again. However last night He returned my joy and my peace and I can stand in faith today and say that I know my God will heal me, but even if He doesn't I will still worship him and my resolve to see the sick healed when I pray for them will be even stronger than ever before. Either way, We Win! I'm sobered by the stand so many have taken in the church, the stand of being unsure what the Lord really wants to do. Because we don't see true miracles very often we think the Lord doesn't want to do them. That is the attitude I will fight until the day I die. I KNOW my God wants to heal. Just because it doesn't turn out like I think it will every time doesn't mean He won't or doesn't want to. It just means I don't know everything... I need to adjust my hearing. 

So for now we are going to see the surgeon on October 29. He will give us a surgery date and if it goes as quickly as it was scheduled to go I will be fully recovered by Thanksgiving. Thank you all for your prayers. Please pray that the healing will still manifest! We appreciate it.

Up Updated Update

Thank you all for praying. I met with Dr. Ortega today after speedily ordering a ton of blood tests and an MRI.... all of which I received today. 

Dr. Ortega was very kind, very sweet and very understanding. She is a neat Christian lady and was very supportive of what we have done and are doing.

However. The MRI showed that the tumor has grown and does most definitely need to come out with surgery.....

I am not surprised or scared or even sad. Just totally unsure of how I feel at this point. I'm not happy. I really wanted to see the Lord heal me simply with a stand of faith, mostly because he set us on this road and it was a joy to walk it with Him. 

So now we are waiting again. I will know more in a few days as to when surgery is scheduled. The good news is that the one of the top two specialists in the nation in this particular surgery is now covered by my insurance, he wasn't last year, and I will be going to him at St. Joe's in Santa Monica instead of the horribly busy UCLA in LA. I'm grateful for that! 

I'm not looking forward to Dr. visit after Dr. visit. I hate the waiting and all that. I will probably be moved along fairly quickly because of the size etc.

I'm looking forward to getting on with life and not feeling crummy a lot of the time.

Thanks for your prayers. I think prayer #1 right now is that we would not give in to discouragement. #2 we always need wisdom in what to do, what to say etc. #3 peace for us and our boys. So far they know what is going on, but they only grasp it on a 5 and 7 year old level at this point and that is enough.

Thank you again.